Monday said it worst

So i finally decide to start this today, i had tried earlier to attempt this, but nevertheless just gave up on alot of things during that time period.  I have alot of writings and no place to put them other than in the corners of my notebook so i will let the internet swallow it for now. I spent half of the day on a chair and half standing up not wanting to sit down. I wasn't hungry, i don't get hungry after i feel nervous about alot of things. Afraid you might lose someone you love and then you feel like your on a roller coaster and your stomach doesn't settle. It happens at the most awkward of times, and i think its planned that way to catch you off guard. The patients came and the patients left, and i see the routine starting to come together before my very eyes. I want toget out more, feel like I've been in san diego and have been spending the weekdays in my room reading old novels from writers who lived it best, or getting sucked into the internet that wastes two to three hours at least of my day. Think tomorrow I'm going to try and change this, bu t as for today  I've already lost the fight. I'm glad to have started this, and think I'll better be able to gather my real thoughts in this. I can't say I won't fail at this again, but I can say I'm going to try.