Taco Tuesday

 The night  began when Rohskie invited me out to eat fish tacos, I was tired from running a four mile down the balboa canyons but i figure i hadn't ate all day, and if thats bad literature then let me join the club. I met Rohskie who brought his friend Mike and we spent the next 45 minutes just looking for a table or seat at the bar.
  Finally we got tired and found an empty bar stool by the restrrom and called over a waiter to assist us in our hunger for the best shark tacos I was soon to experience.

  We order a couple rounds of Dogfish Head 90  which is one the best IPA's that I could ask for , and the stories began to ramble between us. Rohskie started to talk about the life on a ship and I could help but  be fascinated that even though I'm in the navy how i  never in my life have had satories to tell like he did. He rambled about the bullshit he has to deal with in the medical dept. that they he picks up the slack for all the other bullshit corpsamn who complain about the side destractions in there life instead of facing the fact t hat they had work to do and theres a seperation between business and personal. And yes I believed him because he's been a good friend and a hard worker ever since we met years ago.
  He had introduced me to Mike earlier as a friend of a friend, and  I like all took him into the hangout as one of our own and he talked about  the events that  throughout his thanksgiving weekend. His brother had gotten shwasted at the family get together off of the Jameson bottle that Rohskie brought to entertain. The story continued to escalate but I was distracted by my phone because I thought I had seen my Ex at a  bar and it turned out to be false, but the text lead on because the inside jokes from long ago began to pour.

 When the phone fell to its death after a while, I had full attention on the guys and our meal came and we indulge on some of the greatest fish tacos to I've ever had. Man do  I love taco Tuesday.         

   The stories kept pouring and the laughter fell into place while the beers filled themselves.   The waitress gave us the check and i reached for my chain wallet to grab the cash t hat i had taken ouit of the atm machine earlier (which charged $2.00 extra, no surprise)    I was stopped by Rohskie's hand and they motioned for me to put my wallet away, a very unsual gesture  that i had never seen but complied.

  I saw Mike put two hundred dollar bills under the tab and he said in confidence,

" hey its cool man, i got this one"

I looked in curiosity but still keeping my cool and just said "alright" and then we went back to finishing the last of beers.  The waitress a  young female  came up  and took the tab, amnd  then returned twenty minutes later.

I didn't know if i was dealing with a drug dealer or a celrbrity or someone tring to play one, I mean the guy was mexican , had a mohawk and wasn't wearing an item of clothing that shouted the big bucks ( how stereotypical huh.)

The waitres came back with the change and by that time I was on a good buzz, so  I couldn't help but appreciate the guys   initiative and kindess for picking up the tab, i had barely met this guy and he was already a winner in my book.

When we got to the parking lot I started to walk in my direction and parted with them in handshakes and peace out's and as I turned away, Rohskie called out to me, "Hey Steven"

I replied "whats up man"

"That hundred was a fake"

I looked at him in a buzzed aww, and then i started to recall it all and started to put things together.

On  the way home while smoking a cigarette I thought to myself, damnit, i loved those shark tacos and I wonder if I'll ever  be able to go back.

                                                  

climbing up that mountaintop

Sometimes I want a friend.
A friend who makes me laugh at walls.
A friend who can't be seen or heard.
A friend who puts my jealousy at rest.
A friend who walks in the dark alleys,
and crawls through my window at night.
A friend who comforts me in the worst of times and expects nothing.
A friend who hasn't heard "that" song before.
A friend who see's me for everything i want to be,
and everything I'm not.
Sometimes I want a friend who listens to ghosts from the past,
and tells me their secrets of better times.
A friend who doesn't blame me for taking the last drink.
A friend who walks with me on the long road home from broken hearts.
Sometimes I want a friend who can quietly put an arm over me,
while I cry behind closed doors from another life lost.
A friend who can watch the same sun coming from behind the mountains on those long drives home.
A friend to dance those 80's songs to when your at the bar with everyone, but yourself.
A friend to kiss under perfect moonlit skies only meant for chosen eyes.
Sometimes I want a friend who can't give me everything I want,
But everything I need.
Other times I just want to be alone.
Other times I wait for someone.
Other times I wait for anyone.

Monday said it worst

So i finally decide to start this today, i had tried earlier to attempt this, but nevertheless just gave up on alot of things during that time period.  I have alot of writings and no place to put them other than in the corners of my notebook so i will let the internet swallow it for now. I spent half of the day on a chair and half standing up not wanting to sit down. I wasn't hungry, i don't get hungry after i feel nervous about alot of things. Afraid you might lose someone you love and then you feel like your on a roller coaster and your stomach doesn't settle. It happens at the most awkward of times, and i think its planned that way to catch you off guard. The patients came and the patients left, and i see the routine starting to come together before my very eyes. I want toget out more, feel like I've been in san diego and have been spending the weekdays in my room reading old novels from writers who lived it best, or getting sucked into the internet that wastes two to three hours at least of my day. Think tomorrow I'm going to try and change this, bu t as for today  I've already lost the fight. I'm glad to have started this, and think I'll better be able to gather my real thoughts in this. I can't say I won't fail at this again, but I can say I'm going to try.

Reminder

We are the few,
The ones you will never quite understand.
The background people,
The artists,
The thinkers,
The writers,
The open minded,
The people taking shots in the dark.
We are the ones who had better ideas than prom.
The ones who went out for coffee instead of texting.
We are the ones writing our congressmen asking "why?" 
The ones who can walk away,
The ones who grew up too fast.
We are the book that still sits on the shelf untouched.
We are the eye openers,
The people persons,
the non-people persons,
the unscripted,
the abstract,
the crop circles,
the gypsies,
the unsafe,
the true believers.
We are the last call at the bar, while everyone else is distracted.
We are the ghosts of the night that go unnoticed.
And one day, we will do great things,
but until then we remain in the shadows.